


LexJokes

by EsculentEvil



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Aftercare, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Flirting, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Bat, Kissing, LexCorp Tower, M/M, Mature Jokes/Puns/Situations, Metropolis (DCU), Power Play, Romance, Sociopathic Joker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 23:37:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17032098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EsculentEvil/pseuds/EsculentEvil
Summary: Collection of works centered around Joker and Lex Luthor.Contains hints of BatJokes and SuperLex.Originally posted to my Tumblr @esculentevil





	1. Late Night

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry: I just really like the idea of Joker going to Lex for comfort whenever Batsy’s a meanie; and Lex, of course, rubbing that in the Bat’s face [and Sup’s too, honestly] because he can. xD

The Joker titters as he throws open the doors to Lex Luthor’s personal office.

The bald man inside hardly looks up as he puts papers into a file case, “Joker.” His voice is just as uncaring as his actions, perfectly juxtaposing the Gothamite.

The flirtatious clown grins, “Morning, Lexi poo~!”

_Lexi poo_  sighs heavily and sets the file aside, “Batman ditch you again?”

The green-haired miscreant pauses in his attempt to see what his dear Lexi is up to. Sharp, toxic eyes glare down at the seated man whom stares back with eerily calm clarity. Vibrant lips pull into a snarl but the Joker still nods a  _yes_.

Lex Luthor hums.

He has work to do.

* * *

 

“Woohoo~!”

From his spot upon the roof of his company tower, the proud owner of LexCorp, Lex Luthor, watches in mild amusement as his  _partner in crime_  dips and dives across the sky in the searchlights of LexCorp Tower. He denies Superman’s offer to come and solve his clownish problem before critiquing a certain Gothamite.

“He’s flying, within my sights, using a jet pack I  **gave**  him,” he calmly intones, allowing no room for arguments or proposals; “Just because  **you**  do not know how to manage a  **clown**  does not mean  **I**  do not. Enjoy your morning, Batman.”

Hanging up, Lex Luthor takes a moment to smile to himself as he pulls out the rest of his all-nighter; the wooping and cheering above him becoming pleasant ambiance as he endeavors to finish quickly: he wants a dive, too, after all.


	2. Belated (NSFWish)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday [Sept 28th]* was Lex Luthor’s birthday... and I Joker tries to make up for missing it.
> 
> *Reminder that this was originally posted to my Tumblr...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, quick note: I noticed that some artists depict Lex with green eyes while others use blue; since I know a person in real life that has green eyes on some days and blue eyes on others, I’m giving this attribute to Luthor so that I don’t have to stress over which is _canonical_ or _correct_. K?  
> Lastly: this has hints to BatJokes, nudity, and after office sex cuddles in it; so: read cautiously.

Joker gasps and squeals as he drops down from a ceiling vent in Lex’ office.

He lands safely on a couch several feet away from the man, himself. A soft grunt escapes him when he collides with the furniture and he grabs onto it to prevent himself from falling farther onto the floor. A screw descends after him, a casualty of his break in, and hits him on the noggin with perfect comedic timing.

He giggles.

“Good morning,  **Mr**. Joker,” echoes from across the office; Joker’s giggles die.

* * *

 

“Lexi~ Poo~” the clown coos, smiling nervously and wiggling his fingers in  _hello_.

Lex Luthor is not amused. His stoic visage does not lift nor lighten in response. His cold eyes—green, tonight—do not stop reading the page held before him.

(O, he’s  ~~hurt~~  pissed.)

Frowning, Joker deflates a little bit and stays on the couch abnormally. He watches Luthor glare at whatever document he’s reading—much like his Bat back home would—and wonders, idly, if he’s really  **reading**  it. (Probably not.)

Joker quietly approaches the other man.

As he does, Lex watches him from the corner of his eye. The bright lights of the Metropolis night shine onto him through the large window walls of Luthor’s office.

They glance eerily off of purple bruises and red blood.

Lex barely notices the Arkham uniform.

* * *

 

Joker hisses as his partner in crime dabs lightly at his cuts and scrapes.

His entire body is littered with them—some of which are actually still bleeding—and he’d had to argue with the larger man before stripping because Lex Luthor really likes his large walls of widows.  _They save electricity_  he says; and this is true—but  _they don’t save **dignity**  which is far more important when one’s  **nude**_.

Lex had the gall to look amused at the clown’s argument.

When The Joker’s finally clean and properly bandaged, Metropolis’ literal owner pulls back and glances over his work. He nods in approval before beginning to put his emergency supplies away. Gotham’s most garish crime lord watches silently, acid green eyes studying how meticulously Luthor’s hands work.

He loves their hands.

A cough escapes Joker as he realizes he was thinking of both Lex and Batman. The cough is followed by a blush which Luthor notices and smirks smugly at, probably thinking it’s due to something else (Which is probably for the best.).

Finally, Joker hazards an explanation: “I didn’t get out in time. Sorry.”

There’s a silent pause. During this, Joker finds he can’t really look at Lex and, instead, regrets telling him to finally pull out that long-ass curtain he had hiding somewhere—the skyline (Even if Gotham’s is  **way**  prettier.) would have been nice: would have distracted him from the weird pull in his stomach and the tight feeling of his chest and the  **heat**  trying its best to  **devour**  him. He’s  _nervous_.

Or maybe  _scared_  (’The hell is Harleen when you need her...).

A large hand on his cheek jolts him—as though there was a joy buzzer—and forces him to look up at the softened eyes of Lex Luthor. The heat coils in his face, strangely, and he struggles to maintain the established eye contact.

He has literally no idea why it’s so hard.

“Nnn...” Relief floods him as well-cared-for lips press against his scarred ones. He lets his eyes drop closed—something he knows is normal during a kiss—and relaxes into the more familiar sensations. Playing, flirting, laughing, and kissing with Lexi is normal; apologizing to him and letting him take care of Joker is not.

Batman takes care of Joker; Batman listens to Joker; Batman  **helps**  Joker.

Lex Luthor  **indulges**  Joker (And himself.).

* * *

 

~~Epilogue:~~

“So... this was my birthday present?”

Joker giggles quietly into Lex’ bare shoulder. He gives it a quick kiss before shifting and settling into the space between couch back and Luthor side. “ **Belated**  Birthday present,” he cutely corrects.

“Hm...”

Tapered fingers card through green hair as Luthor allows Joker to make himself comfortable. He fits well in the meager space he’s chosen for himself and Lex wonders, privately, if this is really a reflection of the life he leads; of the fact that Joker’s accustom to forcing his way into the tiny spaces the world allows him.

“The timing isn’t important; this isn’t a joke, after all.”

Joker laughs happily and squeezes him tightly. His voice is a bit muffled by Lex’ flesh when he speaks, “You just want office sex, again, next year. Admit it~ ♦”

“I have to wait a whole year?!” Luthor exclaims, playing along.

Gotham’s clown prince grins up at him, “Wouldn’t be birthday worthy otherwise~”


End file.
